What I was feeling when George had me trapped...
I’ve never been happy here in this little flat above the
repair shop. However, as I found myself in our shabby bedroom that evening, I
felt differently then I ever have before. I was scared. The door was locked and
my limp frame was crumbled and frail on the cold bedroom floor. My body ached
from the bruises that had resulted from the numerous beatings I’d received throughout
the past couple of days. I’d never seen George like this. The way he choked me
and screamed in my face is unlike anything I’d ever experienced. I’m not new to
violence from men. I’m used to it and I can take care of myself. Besides, it’s
often times just their way of showing affection, and I should be grateful for
that. However, the look that George had in his eyes was something I’ve never
witnessed in any man before. Even Tom. The crazed expression that played across
my husband’s features was truly the most terrifying thing I’d ever witnessed.
It’s ironic. I’d prayed for countless nights for George to
get up and do something. Especially something for me. It didn’t have to be huge.
My expectations were rock bottom, yet he couldn’t even meet those. I wished
desperately that he would show some passion and effort within his actions.
However, I never would’ve expected this. George was hardly ever angry. The
worst I’d seen from him was perhaps a bit of coldness after a rude customer or
a hint of frustration in his voice when he couldn’t get a car to start. But the
feeling I had when he slammed me against the windowsill and said those spine-chilling
words about how God sees everything.
I no longer was wondering about whether or not George knew
or ever would know about the affair. It was very clear now that he did. Now, all
I had left to wonder was what he was going to do with me now.
Most Affectionately,
Myrtle
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